Battlefield 2042 Issues

It’s like I’m taking crazy pills…

I honestly can’t think of an easier job than being a gaming developer for DICE. In what other gaming franchise could you be wildly successful in re-releasing a game you’ve already made? That’s all the fans wanted, right?

“Give is an up-to-date Battlefield 4!” The fans cried.

“We hear you!” DICE responded in their scintillating and nostalgic preview for Battlefield 2042 that featured nearly every insane stunt and feature that made BF4 such a great game.

It certainly succeeded in securing my preorder of the premium version of the game, which must have been its intended purpose because outside of the preview it sure as shit shares zero similarities with the literal f&cking blueprint for the game that the fans provided.

“tHeY cOuLdN’t JuSt ReLeAsE tHe SaMe GaMe!”

No shit. I understand that they have a somewhat difficult task in appealing to a younger generation while maintaining enough of the soul of BF4 to appease their loyal base.

How do you f&ck up on both fronts? How did you exorcise the soul of the game YOU SAID YOU WERE RE-CREATING? We don’t need a dozen classes! What in the Apex Legends were you thinking there? And whose idea was it to only release like four guns in each class? (Poor snipers.) There’s such a low skill ceiling on the aerial vehicles that it’s made an absolute crack pilot out of every McGruber that gets lucky enough to spawn in a helicopter! Wait, I forgot. That doesn’t require luck because the respawn time on vehicles is nonexistent! I swear, if you look into the sky at any given time during a game of conquest you’ll see no less than a swarm of helos, all capable of wiping your squad in a single strafing run.

I’m being dramatic, but still. It’s a f&cking problem.

It was always about the possibility for f&ckery in battlefield games. You never knew what was going to happen as your squad of four close friends captured the A Point within a war-torn parking deck. Will we get our caps peeled back by a sniper on a rooftop 400m away? Or Will a C4 laden helicopter descend from the sky showering us in 5mm before fulfilling its ultimate roll as kamikaze as it destroys itself and whatever hope we had of capturing the A Point in a conflagration of shrapnel and curse words.

The possibility for f&ckery. Not the certainty of getting f&cked. Which is pretty much how I feel every time I turn on Battlefield 2042, which unfortunately isn’t enough to keep me from playing it because despite DICE’s inability to find the G-spot of their community, I can’t stop searching for the f&ckery! I yearn for it. For the laughs I have with my friends after a long day at work. That’s all I want, really. The laughs. It’s a shame all I can find are Helos and T-52 tanks around every corner, F&CK.